29 September

It's this column's author's birthday. The revolution - and the column - will have to wait.

September 29, 2009 · 2 min read

In the meantime, content yourselves with a rousing chorus of Alex (‘When the boat comes in’) Glasgow’s old song, As Soon As This Pub Closes:

I could have done it yesterday if I hadn’t a cold,

But since I’ve put this pint away I’ve never felt so bold.

So as soon as this pub closes, as soon as this pub closes,

As soon as this pub closes, the revolution starts

I’ll shoot the aristocracy and confiscate their brass,

Create a fine democracy that’s truly working class.

As soon as this pub closes, as soon as this pub closes,

As soon as this pub closes, I’ll raise the banner high

I’ll fight the nasty racialists and scrap the colour bar,

And all fascist dictatorships and every commissar.

As soon as this pub closes, as soon as this pub closes,

As soon as this pub closes, I’ll man the barricades

So raise your glasses, everyone, for everything is planned,

And each and every mother’s son will see the Promised Land.

As soon as this pub closes, as soon as this pub closes,

As soon as this pub closes … I think I’m going to be sick


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