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I am getting increasingly reactionary about some of the clients. They are comfortable about staying unemployed and make no effort to find work. I was particularly incensed by one man who has fathered seven kids from four women.
I think I have an eco-friendly approach to the problem. I am drawn to the 17th-century Dutch solution to idle youth. I like idea of the ‘drowning cell’ – a cistern that filled up with water. The miscreants had to work a pump to stop themselves from drowning. They had 15 minutes.
Many of my clients are so arsey that they would probably deliberately drown. However, I was wondering about the cell idea being an excellent alternative way to generate energy.
Welcome to the Samuel Smiles Appreciation Society. As any well-read anarchist will tell you, the twin pillars of libertarian socialism are self help and mutual aid (followed by a nice pint and a spliff). The mutual bit is important; it means doing things together, for each other. Auntie’s attitude has always been that if you’re not prepared to help with the washing up you don’t get to share in the meal. The cat has proved stubbornly resistant to this fundamental principle of domestic behaviour but everyone else seems to have settled down to it eventually.
It used to be so much simpler for socialists when only the idle rich could afford not to work.
Then we could amuse ourselves with thoughts of the capitalist class being sent to the coalface, or the aristocracy digging beetroot, when work was allocated after the revolution. Auntie has long since reserved swilling out the latrines in the Curry Field at Glastonbury for a particularly nasty teacher she had at primary school.
Now, though, there are idle, undeserving bastards everywhere. Can’t even be bothered to turn out on a demo when there’s a war on, most of them – though they still think they’ve got the right to whinge when the bombs start going off in their neighbourhood.
Start issuing the water pumps, Auntie says.
Grace Blakeley investigates the curious case of Carillion: how the company’s slow decline and abrupt liquidation reveals the nature of modern capitalism.
The collapse of Carillion could be a watershed moment. Let's seize it to end economically disastrous outsourcing schemes. By Cat Hobbs.
Campaign groups highlight UK complicity in Saudi Arabia's human rights abuses.
Three founders of Momentum talk to Ashish Ghadiali about the two years that have transformed their lives and the fortunes of the British left.
Andrew Smith from Campaign Against the Arms Trade gives the run-down on one of the UK's most profitable - and most deadly - industries.
The real story behind the fire in Grande Synthe’s Linière refugee camp, Dunkirk. From 'Bordered Lives – How Europe fails refugees and migrants' by Hsiao-Hung Pai
Javier Pérez De La Cruz writes about the working class Berlin neighbourhood wrung dry by gentrifiers.
Across the world, thousands of protesters are taking on the planet’s biggest fossil fuel companies. We should support them – and if we can, we should join them. By Kara Moses
Students are suffering the effects of financial instability, stress, and slashed mental health services. Mark Crawford reports.
They're not defending free speech - they're just seeking to shore up their own power, writes Ilyas Nagdee
Jeremy Hunt is poised to flog the last of the NHS
Peter Roderick sounds the alarm on an 'attack on the fundamental principles of the NHS'.
Viva Siva, 1923-2018
A. Sivanandan, who died this week, was a hugely important figure in the politics of race and class. As part of our tributes, Red Pepper is republishing this 2009 profile of him by Arun Kundnani
Sivanandan: When memory forgets a giant
Daniel Renwick calls for the whole movement to discover and remember the vital work of A. Sivanandan, who died this week
A master-work of graphic satire
American Jewish cartoonist Eli Valley’s comic commentary on America, the US Jewish diaspora and Israel is nothing if not near the knuckle, Richard Kuper writes
Meet the frontline activists facing down the global mining industry
Activists are defending land, life and water from the global mining industry. Tatiana Garavito, Sebastian Ordoñez and Hannibal Rhoades investigate.
Transition or succession? Zimbabwe’s future looks uncertain
The fall of Mugabe doesn't necessarily spell freedom for the people of Zimbabwe, writes Farai Maguwu
Don’t let Corbyn’s opponents sneak onto the Labour NEC
Labour’s powerful governing body is being targeted by forces that still want to strangle Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership, writes Alex Nunns