Dear Ms Spick and Span
Auntie is by no means a domestic goddess, as her friends and former partners will testify; she’s quite happy living with a little chaos and disorder. Auntie’s theory is the messier a mind the more the need for order around you. Auntie’s mind is a clutter-freezone.
Over the years, Auntie has employed the odd domestic worker; housekeeping is an underrated and valuable skill she does not possess. She has also been involved in campaigns for the rights of migrant domestic workers, such as with Kalayaan www.kalayaan.org.uk.
A person making a living from cleaning is a domestic worker, an equal
providing a service, not an indentured servant to exploit. Lead by example:
ensure terms and conditions include a decent wage, paid holidays and sick leave. Visit the T&G website www.tgwu.org.uk for details. Make sure your friends are clear on what they expect, draw up a contract of employment and agree a list of tasks beforehand with your prospective employee. Be respectful and appreciative- remember it’s taking the piss to expect him or her to clean up your dirty knickers and used condoms. To salve your conscience further, do a quick clean-up beforehand.
As for Auntie, ideally she is seeking a submissive man who will pay her to let
him do the housework. Suitably respectful letters of application, with two references, may be sent to Subcomandauntie[@]gmail.com
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Dear Auntie, All my left-wing friends seem to be overjoyed about Obama winning the US election, holding real hope that he will bring change, that he'll stop the wars, and that he'll somehow make America all cuddly and nice. But haven't we been here before? I'm getting flashbacks to the expectations people had of politicians like Tony Blair and Bill Clinton, and how quickly they betrayed us. Is it terrible that I think Obama will be just more of the same? Hopeless, London
Dear Auntie, Having reached 50, I've become invisible. It's the only explanation of why people look right through me. I'm ignored in shops and at bus stops; and getting served at the bar is an endurance test, as men and younger women always take priority. I have a lifetime of experience as an activist, but these days there's always a 'Darren' or 'Ryan' whose opinion matters more. I'd go as far as saying they don't even hear me speak! It seems white hair and wrinkles are taken as an early indication of Alzheimer's. But I'm not ready to go gently into the night and as Auntie looks of a similar age, does she have any advice? The invisible woman, London
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