Dear Martha,
Musically, you may be beyond redemption, but there are ways to solve your environmental problem. Rather than cityhopping by plane, try travel website The Man in Seat Sixty-One for suggestions about how to wend your way between gigs by land and sea.
Trains and boats are ideal for someone of your musical inclination, with excellent scope for singalongs and improvised musical numbers. You can karaoke your way through a million love songs by the time you hit Calais.
However, even if you refrain from emission-heavy modes of transport, your idols will not. I can't see Gary Barlow and company crooning 'Could it be Magic' from the backseat of a Megabus, or breaking into an impromptu chorus of 'Everything Changes' while stranded on the platform at Crewe station.
No, no. It's going to be short-haul central for those boys. They might try to greenwash their reputation by planting a tree for every gig - but an entire grove of Jason Orange saplings is unlikely to save the world, or do much for bio-diversity.
You're better off starting a campaign to encourage the band back into retirement.
Once they're back for good in Cheshire, you'll be free to indulge your inexplicable obsession while sticking to your environmental convictions.
Take that and party
The crack pipe of peace Dear Auntie
_ War, famine, economic depression and global warming - the idea that 'another world is possible' seems remoter than ever. Will we ever have a just and peaceful world?
_ Desperate for peace, Preston
Learning by number Dear Auntie
_ At one of the Gaza protests in London, Stop the War put the number of protesters at around 100,000 but the police insisted it was only 20,000. Can Auntie reassure me that the Met has a scientific methodology for estimating crowd numbers?
_ Numberless in London
No hope Dear Auntie,
All my left-wing friends seem to be overjoyed about Obama winning the US election, holding real hope that he will bring change, that he'll stop the wars, and that he'll somehow make America all cuddly and nice. But haven't we been here before? I'm getting flashbacks to the expectations people had of politicians like Tony Blair and Bill Clinton, and how quickly they betrayed us. Is it terrible that I think Obama will be just more of the same?
Hopeless, London
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Co-operatise the state? Can the co-op movement be one source of alternatives to marketisation? Hilary Wainwright explores
Red Pepper is a magazine of political rebellion and dissent, influenced by socialism, feminism and green politics. more »
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