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Cleaner minded

Dear Auntie, I live in a house with several friends and while I enjoy the ritual weekly clean they are lazy, so have suggested we hire a cleaner. I am uncomfortable about the idea of hiring someone to be our servant when we have plenty of time and are perfectly capable of doing our own cleaning. Does Auntie have a cleaner? And what does she think of the idea of hiring one? Ms Spick and Span

Dear Ms Spick and Span

Auntie is by no means a domestic goddess, as her friends and former partners will testify; she's quite happy living with a little chaos and disorder. Auntie's theory is the messier a mind the more the need for order around you. Auntie's mind is a clutter-freezone.

Over the years, Auntie has employed the odd domestic worker; housekeeping is an underrated and valuable skill she does not possess. She has also been involved in campaigns for the rights of migrant domestic workers, such as with Kalayaan www.kalayaan.org.uk.

A person making a living from cleaning is a domestic worker, an equal

providing a service, not an indentured servant to exploit. Lead by example:

ensure terms and conditions include a decent wage, paid holidays and sick leave. Visit the T&G website www.tgwu.org.uk for details. Make sure your friends are clear on what they expect, draw up a contract of employment and agree a list of tasks beforehand with your prospective employee. Be respectful and appreciative- remember it's taking the piss to expect him or her to clean up your dirty knickers and used condoms. To salve your conscience further, do a quick clean-up beforehand.

As for Auntie, ideally she is seeking a submissive man who will pay her to let

him do the housework. Suitably respectful letters of application, with two references, may be sent to Subcomandauntie[@]gmail.com

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December 2007



The crack pipe of peace Dear Auntie _ War, famine, economic depression and global warming - the idea that 'another world is possible' seems remoter than ever. Will we ever have a just and peaceful world? _ Desperate for peace, Preston

Learning by number Dear Auntie _ At one of the Gaza protests in London, Stop the War put the number of protesters at around 100,000 but the police insisted it was only 20,000. Can Auntie reassure me that the Met has a scientific methodology for estimating crowd numbers? _ Numberless in London

No hope Dear Auntie, All my left-wing friends seem to be overjoyed about Obama winning the US election, holding real hope that he will bring change, that he'll stop the wars, and that he'll somehow make America all cuddly and nice. But haven't we been here before? I'm getting flashbacks to the expectations people had of politicians like Tony Blair and Bill Clinton, and how quickly they betrayed us. Is it terrible that I think Obama will be just more of the same? Hopeless, London

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